Contrast

I was dating a guy in college. He went grocery shopping with me one afternoon…I don’t remember why…I guess because in college you have time to go grocery shopping with someone else. Weird. Now, if I had any extra time in my life, the last thing I would do is go grocery shopping with someone else. Anyway, I did a big grocery that day. And the guy I was hanging out with offered to grab some of the bags and help me carry them up the stairs to my apartment with me. I told him I was good and that I could get them on my own. He insisted and I insisted back. This went on for a bit and by the time we got back to my apartment he was irritated with me. He even got so irritated that he grabbed a couple of the bags and headed up the stairs anyway. When we got to my apartment he stopped me and said…”Why are you like that? Why do you act so independently, like you don’t need any help from anyone?” The question surprised me. I had never thought of it that way. I just knew I could get my own groceries and carry them to my apartment and I didn’t need help so I was merely doing just that. Little did I know how much I had offended this boy. Little did I know that simply responding truthfully would offend him and push him away. He left and pouted for days. All I wanted to do was buy my groceries and go home and put them away. It really was that simple. I never had some ulterior motive to prove to him how capable I was, I just needed food.

I have offended people this way all my life it seems…by just doing what I knew I could do, taking care of my life, my responsibilities, the things I knew I wanted to do with my life. Somehow this is offensive.

Why is it that people think they know more than I do what I want and what is best for me? For us? I know I’m not alone in this. All my life I’ve had people tell me what I need to do, what I want. Or worse, I’ve had people assume they know what I want or what is best for me and not tell me that but then act according to their own assumptions.

A couple of weeks ago I watched Killers of the Flower Moon, an Oscar winning movie that came out last year about the Osage murders. It was a compelling film with storylines throughout that beg you to keep thinking about it after the three hour story that tears your heart to pieces. I recommend the watch because I love a story that makes me think…about where we are in the world right now, how we got here and how we can do better. This movie did all of that.

I don’t want to ruin it for anyone but the story highlights the destruction caused by a small group of people that think they know better than others and make decisions accordingly. Their decisions are made with selfish intent and are killing people all while they are befriending and manipulating the very trust of those being murdered. The more it goes on, the more powerful and out of control the lie becomes because they can’t relinquish the power and control they think they have created. And so they devote their lives to covering the lie and protecting their selfish ambition at all costs. The legacy of power gone wrong has historical and cultural roots and grip that is showcased in this story.

That is certainly a way of getting things done. I don’t understand that “way” but it exists and still has strongholds on a lot of the “ways” things are done.

Tomorrow is April 19. A day millions of us around the world have been waiting for…TTPD is released tomorrow! For those of you who don’t know what that means, I’ll tell you…her newest album, The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift will be released! There has been a hum about this day for weeks since she announced the release and sent a buzz through culture anticipating the newest words, notes and videos that will come from this goddess figure dominating economies in our world right now. She chooses a different way…she speaks of her pain, describes it and brilliantly uses it to connect with her audience, the world. She doesn’t stand on a stage and tell us how she knows what is best and right for everyone even though I speculate that she could give us some really good advice. Rather, she connects with us….with sold out stadiums all over the world. And when she is in front of her audiences, she tells them things like she loves them and how she hopes they love themselves and each other. She talks about what is and can be good. She attracts people to her…me, my beautiful daughter, my friends, my male friends that I never thought knew of or loved her, it’s now my son who is interested because she has a song coming out called Fortnight…although he’s pointed out she spelled it wrong…should be Fortnite. 🙄 I told him he’s wrong on that and that she probably should tell the video game writers they should have used spellcheck.

There’s always a different way, better way. There’s always a better way to create success and accomplish things or attain things we want. We have a choice in the matter. We get to choose HOW we do life. Our world is primed and ready for us to start choosing the better way…the way of connection rather than control. It’s hopeful, it feels good, it considers everyone, offers freedom from obligation and allows us to move with good intent. It’s truth and love offered and accepted that makes a better way.

Perhaps you take a listen tomorrow to TTPD. And even if you don’t, I hope you’ll look with me for the better way.